CHEARS TO FEARS COMING TRUE!

I'm sitting here thinking is it really that all my fears are coming true?

I'm not sure but to think that every little fear I've ever had since my life began is coming true is just torture.

Losing people is hard. Losing them because they stopped breathing or because they are no longer the person you knew doesn't make much of a difference. At the end of the day everybody a stranger. 

Those who I lost to the ground and those who are withering away are the hardest to live without. Because you know they won't stay forever, or that they're gone and will never come back. Even those you love, you know it's temporary, we'll all die soon anyways. 

But those who you lose because OF life are really an inconvenience at best.

And the country... 

Which country?

This country is going to hell... we all know it... so just shut the fuck up. 

yeah yeah the 6th of that and the 9th of that and the 17th of that.... nothing's gonna change I'm telling ya. It's all a sham, he'd tell me. And I miss that. Because all the hope around these days will be followed by the most disappointment. The best thing to do now is drop dead because other than that it's coming. Oh it's coming and it'll be here any moment. Just wait and see.

So the question comes down to this: Is everything they told me true?

Was I that stupid because I didn't believe?

Probably. 

Yesterday I was up unable to sleep, watching Nadia El Guindy's movie - al da2e3a  - meaning the "lost one"- on Cairo Cinema at 5am. And I noticed something... the crazy woman was shooting up for real. I know a real fix when I see one - and the one being shot into Nadia El Guindy on screen was a real one, so was the technique. Now why would that be dangerous?

Well... I couldn't sleep, because I'm worrying, was bored of the thinking in circles, it was a movie I've never seen before. And hope to never see again. Hope that's clear...

Al Baradei hope of the millions... oh thousands still? oops sorry. I want to give some advice to the man of the hour. Listen man, they won't let you ok?

 And what you're trying to do... you know, the revolution? that's not how it's done.  The only way that would make it work here is... well I can't really say on here so you know what I mean? raise some hell you bad boy you!

Maybe by our grandchildren's grandchildren's time there'll be clean metro. 

Have you ever thought deeply about which people you can do without? Have you ever realized that you can do without them all?

I don't owe anybody anything. I owe me only.

None of this will matter - the only things I'll hold on to from now on will be mine alone.