My job is making me miserable. I'm over qualified, over exploited, and way way underpaid. I work because I'm good at what I do even though negative energy is a permanent element of the environment.
Most people who work in media here in Egypt are so un-fucking-professional. And in the middle of mediocracy there are always the 'sluts' and the 'ass-kissers' with which raw efficiency has a hard time competing. I honestly want to say more but I can't.
I've been hearing about this person for a long time. A few months ago I hear some gossip that someone was caught shooting up at the other venue of the entity I work for and was relieved from his responsibilities after the incident. I later over heard two people gossiping and saying that this person 'quit shooting' and came back to work.
BULLSHIT! I saw him recently for the first time. The blood in my veins rushed to my head as I first heard him speak. He was high off his ass. The scratchy voice flew over my earlobes. Mu eyeballs was locked on the red of the itchy nose he kept scratching, and the track marks embossed and dark on his arms... what a nightmare. I saw his pupils tight as a needle hole. I wanted to crash his skull in the wall.
How this world is so inconsiderate. How so unfair. I'm not being a drama queen. Come on! Not my Achilles Heel! Fuck you life! Fuck You!
The dilemma I'm facing now is that he was called in because this other guy on my team is an unreliable bastard and my direct boss wants him replaced. To be honest so I want him replaced too cuz he keeps fucking up my work and is NEVER on time. And the other option may very well be the Heroin addict.
I called my therapist and he told me to resign. He said it's not worth it. And stupid me thought my job is my life. But that is wrong. This job is just a job. My life is everything. I won't have a job or a career or even a future if I don't have my life.H Heroin has taken so many lives but will not claim mine.
Mind you if it was all about the job I could have easily advanced myself using the afore mentioned 'alternative techniques for success.' But I wouldn't ass-kiss if my life depended on it, nor would I make men do things for what they would never get... but working with a Heroin addict, the hours we'd spend together would bring back so much memories, the pain, the suffering, the cravings, the stress and a potential relapse is just not worth 'the job'. Even if it's fun. And even if I'm working with giants. It is just not worth it.
I can't go tell my boss I won't work with a Heroin addict because he'll think I'm merely morally opposed and he'll say, "you're just his colleague - you won't MARRY him". I can't tell my boss that I'm a former Heroin addict myself. I just can't.
Is this the end of my story with "___TV"? maybe... I'll keep you updated. It depends what will happen the next few days.
1 comments:
Of course I don't know your boss, but you should try telling him that you don't want to work with a heroin addict....and let him think you are morally opposed.... may be you deserve to enjoy the high moral ground even though you believe you don't deserve it. You seem to think that telling him you are an ex-addict is more morally acceptable although beyond your ability to handle right now ! I could be wrong ... you tell me.
Anyways you don't deserve to be under this type of stress and you don't need it, and as you said its not worth it, but just try to keep what is rightfully yours( your job)- if you want to that is!
And let us know how it goes. Good luck :)
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